


The Diary

by Thestorywhisperer



Category: Stitchers (TV)
Genre: F/M, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Tissue Warning, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 21:29:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6583258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thestorywhisperer/pseuds/Thestorywhisperer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cameron stumbles over Kirsten's diary one day and he makes a somber discovery about his blonde co-worker. When he's caught in the act, will that bring the two closer or pull them apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Diary

The first time it happened it was an accident. He was looking for his Asian fusion recipe book. Not in a million years would he have thought he would find her diary. An item perhaps too intimate for prying eyes- no, intimate doesn’t cut it. Sacred. That’s the word he was looking for.   
The diary’s sacrality was tainted, once he peeked at the contents inside. On first glance, there couldn’t have been anything more ordinary about it: small, tan coloured and leatherbound. It seemed so out of place on his bookshelf. You would think that she was smarter than that, not leaving it out in the open. Its cover gave nothing away. It wasn’t embezzled with unnecessary details, just plain. That could not be said about Kirsten as well. If anything, she was the opposite of simple. He had come to learn that from the few months he had known her. But what did Cameron know about Kirsten? Besides her foster parent, her mother’s death, her skepticism about everything to ever exist, the unwanted “ability”, the too good to be true fiance that popped out of nowhere and her strange addiction to chocolate hazelnut spread. 

So, when the opportunity struck, he decided to go for it. He knew that reading her utmost hidden thoughts was wrong, but he couldn’t help himself. The blonde enthralled him beyond words. The thought of Cameron reading her diary probably made Kirsten seethe with anger. But Cameron was not afraid of the consequences. He had handled Kirsten before and he would have no problem with doing that again. Reading her diary became almost habitual for Cameron. Just another morning read. Instead of a newspaper, he was trespassing someone’s intimacy. What started as something completely forbidden, became one of his biggest pleasures. In a twisted way, he found it thrilling.   
He was digging his own grave for the greater good. To elucidate the mystery that was Kirsten Clark. He had to find out what made her be the way she is today. The more he read, the more things would begin to make sense. She was no longer the robot others thought she was: cold, calculated, distant. To him, she was an entire universe: beautiful and never ending.  
That went on for another week. At this point, he was starting to question his morals. Yet Kirsten showed no sign of protest. The diary was still in the middle of the third shelf, right between Cameron’s collection of Aquaman and Supergirl comic books. Was she doing that on purpose? Free-handedly giving him an insight in her world because she had trouble opening up to people? That didn’t sound like her at all. Maybe she was clueless. She didn’t hide her journal that well to begin with.

Usually, she was writing everyday. If that was not an option, the most she went without writing anything ranged from two to three days. The entries were getting fewer and fewer. Until they stopped. The last one was dated five days ago. What could have happened in that timeframe that would keep her from writing? Perhaps she figured out that Cameron was her diary voyeur. All she needed was the chance to catch him in the act. He looked at her final entry over and over again. The tone of her writing was unusually melancholic. Her words, although not directed at him, cut deeper than a knife. He had to put an end to his obsession. As he put away the journal in its normal spot, someone opened the door. He wasn’t expecting anyone. Not yet anyways.

“You thought you were going to get away with this, didn’t you?” Kirsten’s eyes widened in shock. She was struggling to put a brave front on. So far, it was working.

“Stretch, I, I can explain.” Cameron began to stutter. His lower lip quivered nervously. He reached out to her but she slapped his hand away.

“How can you explain reading my diary? My only escape from my own mind. So much for trust, right?” A grimace was etched on her face. Cameron had let her down. Big time. He was the last person she would expect to go behind her back. Yet here they were.

“I wasn’t going to read it anymore. I swear.” 

“Why, because there wasn’t anything interesting left to read?” That was the last nail on his coffin. So she knew after all. 

“Show me your wrists.” Cameron demanded, tightlipped. Out of all the things he had read in her diary, this one tugged at his heartstrings the most. She was in a vulnerable state of mind at that point. She didn’t have no one to turn to. He had to find out whether it was true or not.

“What?” The blonde’s mouth was agape. That question triggered her. It was a constant reminder of her dark days.

“I know you used to cut when you were younger. You’ve always wanted a tabby cat but you never got one because you were afraid that you weren’t gonna be able to look after her. I know that the only thing you have left from your mother is a locket she gave you right before she died. You loathe garlic just as much as the scent of vinegar makes your insides churn. You hate it when people chew their food loudly. You prefer books over movies. You go for a run in the park whenever you’re mad at someone. I know you’re terrified of crows and small spaces. You like your coffee black, no milk, no sugar. You got drunk one night and almost got a tattoo. That was your rebellious phase, the heavy eyeliner and the punk clothing. You ran away and Ed found you freezing and starving in a playground swing three days later. You haven’t had a panic attack since you were 15. That’s when you started cutting, am I right?”

“Stop!” She held her head in her hands as she let the tears finally fall. This was too much for her. She fell to the ground and cried. He shuffled forward, to comfort her but before he could even attempt, she got up. She looked dishevelled:her eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks glistened with tears.

“Don’t come near me or I’ll scream. I swear to God. Just tell me, why are you doing this?”

“I know nothing about you. You won’t let me in, goddamn it!” It was Cameron’s turn to scream. This woman drove him crazy. But he couldn’t stop chasing after her. He was too smitten to back out.

“Why would you want to know me? Look at me! I’m a freak of nature.” It was a life or death shouting match. The “ball” was going back and forth.

“Because I love you. I have held that in for months now. Are you satisfied?“ Those were the words he yearned to say this whole time. Although he had hoped that the circumstances would be different.

“How can you love something that’s already this broken?" 

” You’re not broken. Being vulnerable is what makes us human.“

"You know you can’t fix me. Yet you want to stay?” She looked up, and for the first time, she felt hopeful. He simply nodded and she knew. She came closer and showed him the pale lines on her wrist, before cupping his face with her hands:

“I’ve had my heart broken before. I put my faith in a lot of people and I had to pay for that. I don’t trust nor love easily. I don’t make promises I cannot keep. I can’t say those three words you want me to say. Whatever that makes us now, give it a bit of time. I promise it is going to be worth it.” She kissed him, putting all the love she could muster in that moment. When the magic of that moment dissipated, they just smiled at each other knowingly.


End file.
